10 reasons WHY you should divorce

Congrats to the soon-to-be job divorcee and top cheerleader for team Elvi: NOA!
MAZEL TOV!



My job is like a bad marriage. Here are the warning signs that you're also in one of these ... (some of the 10 reasons can be better related to the marriage issue than others .. it's up to your imagination ;)

1. The task that took you 5 minutes (because you were so excited and eager) when you got the job takes you now an hour and a half with your best efforts. You're glad that you got it done at all!

2. You hate or can't stand or just about tolerate half of the people you work with.

3. You are able to identify the last person using the bathroom facilities simply by entering it.

4. You can tell who got laid the night before by the mood they're in. (In your best interest you'd like to be encouraging towards option A. Some people would need this mood elevator more than others!)

5. You don't have to ask about dirty secrets of anyone anymore. Others instinctively offer them to tell you. You're still naive enough to think that they do not know about you ...

6. You figured out by now that marketing the amount of work you have or the terrible cold that you caught pays back with loads of pretend sympathy and at least one day off work.

7. Satisfaction sets in from work well-done when you can answer to your client the following: "I am so sorry Sir, we can not provide such services. Maybe you should try XYZ instead"
"You're very welcome"
"Sure, if you are unable to find anything I will gladly re-direct you somewhere else but here. You're very welcome! Have a great day!"

8. You're planning an event, invited 200 people, but can draft up an RSVP list of the 50 that will show up (including the individuals that were not invited but will show up).

9. The highlight of your day is lunch time, which you plan possibly at 9AM.

10. You've learned to avoid close under-arms encounters with those not using an anti-perspirant (NAPs).
Like when you're sitting by the desk and the NAP approaches - You: Jump up and offer your seat rather than trying to hold your breath until turning into the color blue. When NAP declines to sit, you insist!

11. You spend your working day making up the 10 reasons why your job is like a bad marriage ...