Blog Birthday

Dear Blog!

Happy Birthday to you! You are one week old! It is hard to believe that I was feeding you for all this time. The last time I decided to give life to a diary (your descendent) at the age of 13 I failed miserably only after a couple of entries.

Situations would get solved faster those days - I liked a guy; Day 1 he smiled at me - I wrote the entry - Day 2 we became boyfriend and girlfriend - I was too busy to write an entry - Day 3 he dumped me - wrote an entry for 10 pages and never did it again.

nowadays dear blog I write to get Harry out of my body - Yuppp! I named my cancer! I want egualiteeeee' as the French say (I don't speak French) If guys can call their private parts Joes and Henries and Big Dudes I can call my cancer whatever I want. Harry sounded suitable. So there!

Harry is evil! Did you notice? He is a man - unpredictable; does not ask for directions (I want him out!) and loves to veg out - as per this case Harry likes being in my body (Another reason why he'd be a man)! We fight day and night - even though I almost forgot today amidst all this furniture building and unpacking that he resides in me. Doc. Mo said that she thinks she killed him all (it certainly felt like she did to me), but I still have to go through this kaka called chemotherapy. Apparently it's only an insurance policy - like the one you take on a house. This in fact is a very accurate comparison, judging by the cost of it all it does feel like a rather large mortgage payment, only my payments will be paid by dinero with an interest of body hair.

I've spoken to my Oncologist doc about chemo - she named about 124 side effects and assured me that if my fingers fall off one day I should just call the hospital - it's most likely from the "treatment" (They have the nerve to call it a "treatment" Trick or Treat?!!). I guess it's obvious - I am NOT looking forward to it ..... Also, every drug has another drug for the side effects ... so this way I will be able to pick whether I will take a drug that will cause diarrhea or nausea or constipation ... Life is full of choices ... I am so overwhelmed ...

Doc Mo. is the sweetest breast cancer person I've met so far. Every time she talks to me it's as if she was reading a Thomas the Tankengine book "Well, you have a little bit of cancer that is a bit dangerous; Once upon a time will take your right breast off, BUTTT the King of the plastic kingdom will replace it immediately with another one instead .. and so the only difference between you and some other 50 year old woman later on will be that your breasts will be perky while theirs will be sagging all the way down ... Ohmmm it's true that there is a tiny chance of recurrence, buTTT we don;t have to worry about it now ... and they lived happily ever after ... "

Chhhoooo chooooo Thomas hurried off to arrive to another station, where patient # 1246633 was already waiting, reading the latest Martha Stewart Home Improvement magazine readily available at train stations as this one ...

I got into an operating room, (ER scene - everyone in masks) she told me to "hop on' to the operating table and held my hand good night ... that's Doc Mo. By the BC patients terminology most often used - WARM and FUZZY :)

Oh so sorry dear blog I am off the track with this b-day card ... I'll do better next time ...

All our love.

Elvi & the X (Harry)