Just (can't) do it ...

I took this picture the other day from our balcony ...

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"You are a brave girl" I've heard many times during this process. I have indeed drank liquids, lay in scanning machines listening to ears screeching noises and spread my legs more times in the past one month than ever before, but I've never had to hurt myself intentionally before!

The drug came in a reusable blue make-up bag with an injection pen and about 8 pieces of one centimeter long needles. The booklet carefully explains the technique of pinching the skin and plunging the terrifying needle into the skin through the layers of tissue, but does not mention panic or anxiety attacks or what to do with them. I heroically prepared for the operation in the comfort of our bathroom. As a preppy drug addict would do only I lined up all the instruments in a search for the perfect spot to indice pain to my white as it gets skin.

I cleaned the desired area of my upper-outer thigh, lifted my arm with clear intentions to get this thing done aaaaaaaaaaand hesitated; I lifted it again and pulled away, I pinched my skin so hard I wasn't sure whether my arm is the source of the pain or the cells beneath my clutching fingers, where my leg was turning into a palette of all shades of red and purple.

"Geooffreeeyyyyyyy .... please do it ."

"Ok, do it now, I am not looking"

"You missed it!"
"Now, now!"
"Noooo Don't do it!"
"Auuuuch you're going to sneak one on me ... Promise you tell me!
"Ok, I'll let you do it this time"
"No, you shouldn't do it !"

" I'll do it!"
"I can't do it ... "
"Auuuuuuu! It hurts!" ..... "Oh .. you didn't even touch me?"
"Now, I'll really really do it ... "
"Let's call Oli, she said she'd do it ... "
"Let's try in a bedroom, standing up, sitting down, lying on my stomach, in the living room, on the sofa, I'll look! I won't look! Don't look!"

This single shot provoked me to try more positions than listed in the Kama Sutra!

"Let's try music, I'll talk on the phone, I'll stare at the wall, sing a song, recite a poem, cook dinner while you do it ... " Given the fact that the two of us have difficulties hanging a picture straight on the wall, I am not sure whether we should even attempt to do any other kind of DIY (Do-It-Yourself) projects, such as this one.

"I just really wish there was someone in a uniform who could administer this liquid into me" .... "Honey, if you'd like I can call the doorman! His uniform would surely do the trick!"

(By the way! Doorman! I made friends with Cesar - I think that is his name. Apparently my costume was the best on Halloween. Assuming he counted all the 500 children between the ages of 1 to 7 that dressed up in the building I should have won at least some candy corn or a free shot from a nurse?!)

One hour later ....

Geoff is exhausted lying in the bedroom.

Jen, who came for a visit can't listen to me either. No fuss, she is getting up from the sofa while targeting me with her eyes - sitting on the covered toilet seat I am exhausted from my own non-sense ...

She is grabbing the weapon and is heading for me ....

(The last time I saw a similar face expression was on Tony Montana in Scarface)

I'd love to run, but we live in a one bedroom in Manhattan. The space underneath the bed is filled with boxes, the closets overflowing with clothes, the cabinets are way too small .... She sits on me crushing my pelvic bone and before I could screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam ..............

.....it is OVER ...

* * * * *
By the next day I am a self proclaimed hero ... Misa, the lucky winner gets to administer it to me in a Wiennese restaurant opposite the BAM between two apricot pancakes and Shakespeare's Winter's Tale. We run for the bathroom.
I know girls always go in two's, but this is a one per person only bathroom stall right next to the crowded bar and when I pull Misa inside we both wonder about the thoughts of the half drunk MBA type suit/tie clientele staring at us. Only 20 minutes thou the play shall begun and so with shaking hands I am unpacking my baby making kit, screwing on the needle and handing nurse Misa the injection. She is a brave girl! Never done it before, but never say never and she is stabbing the needle with a precision of an expert into my flash.

We exit with a successful smile and wonder whether the imagination of those behind the bar went much further than our innocent encounter with a needle and some follisten ...

* * * * *

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't.".
(Hamlet Act II, Scene II)