My PMS victims

PMS: I am ignorant enough not to know if this abbreviation is a pre or a post thing, because I tend to have it before as well as after. During the chemo I will not have the privilidge of PMS-ing and so I started collecting my victims this afternoon at lunchtime.


Penang - Malaysian and Thai Restaurant and only few blocks from the office with $7.95 specials till 4pm!

Cluelessly browsing through the menu of Malaysian and Thai dishes. We picked two noodle dishes. Dry wonton whatever noodles was mine and the something something thai that came in a fish bowl was Oli's. I never like to be the only customer at a restaurant - it has proven to be a bad omen many times before, but we took the chance. As soon as our food arrived I became suspicious - the soggy dumplings that lay on the top of a hill of thin noodles covered by two fig leaves reminded me of a dish I saw on Fear Factor.
Oli's fish bowl of brown water with floating vegetables and sunken to the bottom chicken leftovers from yesterday's special did not look or taste better either.

I elegantly picked up my chopsticks, poked the whole through the dumpling and bit ...

"Excuuuseee meee! What is this?"

"Madam, it's pork!"

"Well, I thought this dish had only vegetables!"

"Miss, a Wonton dumpling is always filled with pork!"

"But I am a vegetarian!
(My transformation with this move from Queens to Manhattan is rapid!
I am becoming the Upper Eastsider that I used to hate when I worked in a restaurant myself!)
" Do you have anything vegetarian on the menu?!!!!"

"No! Nothing!"

"I'll have the basil chicken instead"
(I really am brave breaking the rule number one "Be always extremely nice to your waiter!" You don't want to feel a slimy sauce on that chicken breast called saliva! )
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(Thank God I am not ordering coffee!
Dear Mr. Miserable, who used to send back most of your dishes because they weren't colorful enough or cooked enough or tasty enough .... do you remember those coffees I served you?
I guess, you must have had a few sleepless nights, huh?
It wasn't decaf ! :)

.................. the puzzled waiter leaves ....
returns ...
types something into the computer ...

"Miss, you know that basil chicken is not a vegetarian dish, right?"

Thanks for the warning! Jessica Simpson would be glad to have made a new friend in me!
"Are Buffalo Wings From a Buffalo?"
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"Was it chicken???"